I have to speak...English?
Posted by Ashley Hoover
So, I'm back in the US for a couple weeks. After three months in Honduras and having probably only two or three conversations in English during that time my mind is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to all the English again. Spanish words are first to come to mind nowdays and I find myself actually having to stop and think of the English words I need during conversations. Spanish still slips out often which has gotten me a few quizzical looks but oh well.
Yesterday I worshiped with fellow believers in English for the first time in three months. I was sort of looking forward to it as at times I've missed singing in the language I'm most familiar with, the songs I know, you know, ones I can really worship with...However during the service (which was great by the way) I couldn't help but think of all my friends in Honduras and where they were worshiping yesterday. Having visited several of their churches I could imagine them singing their hearts out praising God at the same time. I wanted to be with them but I also wanted to be here praising God without having to think so much about the words. Yet many times the Spanish language is so beautiful and expressive compared to English that I almost prefer songs in Spanish. I feel conflicted sometimes that something so basic and simple can become so complicated. I felt a bit lost without my Spanish Bible. Can listening to a sermon really be so easy? I could actually understand every concept and didn't have to look up any words in the dictionary afterwards.
Dividing one's heart and life between two countries isn't always easy. My heart is in both places but my body can only be in one at a time and that is hard to balance sometimes. It's easy to want to be wherever I'm not at the time. I think that is because I have friends and family in both countries and no matter which one I'm in I will always miss someone. But that is also a good thing as I know I've loved and been loved and accepted in Honduras just like in the US.
I will enjoy my couple weeks in the States but I also can't wait to get back to Honduras to continue working with CEF there.
Yesterday I worshiped with fellow believers in English for the first time in three months. I was sort of looking forward to it as at times I've missed singing in the language I'm most familiar with, the songs I know, you know, ones I can really worship with...However during the service (which was great by the way) I couldn't help but think of all my friends in Honduras and where they were worshiping yesterday. Having visited several of their churches I could imagine them singing their hearts out praising God at the same time. I wanted to be with them but I also wanted to be here praising God without having to think so much about the words. Yet many times the Spanish language is so beautiful and expressive compared to English that I almost prefer songs in Spanish. I feel conflicted sometimes that something so basic and simple can become so complicated. I felt a bit lost without my Spanish Bible. Can listening to a sermon really be so easy? I could actually understand every concept and didn't have to look up any words in the dictionary afterwards.
Dividing one's heart and life between two countries isn't always easy. My heart is in both places but my body can only be in one at a time and that is hard to balance sometimes. It's easy to want to be wherever I'm not at the time. I think that is because I have friends and family in both countries and no matter which one I'm in I will always miss someone. But that is also a good thing as I know I've loved and been loved and accepted in Honduras just like in the US.
I will enjoy my couple weeks in the States but I also can't wait to get back to Honduras to continue working with CEF there.
Posts
4 comments:
Ashley, I have felt the same way since being back in the States too and have those problems with Spanish coming first to mind when responding to things. I also totally agree with you about wanting to be in two places at once. Praying for you!!
Thanks Alyssa! Praying for you too! Enjoy the time in the US despite the conflicting feelings!
Ashley, My name is Debbie Lane. My husband and I have been missionaries in La Esperanza, Intibuca’, Honduras, for 14 years. I was just wondering where you are located in Honduras.I also work with children and have Bible classes in our town, but also several classes in the mountains with the Lenca children. I FIRMLY believe that the spiritual future of Honduras lies in reaching the children! I will add your name to our prayer list.
We, too, are in the States at this time, but when we return home, maybe we could meet or you could come to La Esperanza for a visit.
God bless you and your work. If we can ever be a help to you, please contact us!
For the King until His return,
Debbie Lane, missionary to Honduras
www.RegionsBeyond-Honduras.blogspot.com
Ashley, hace tiempo que no te escribo pero te recuerdo siempre. ¡Lo que estás haciendo es maravilloso! Tú sí que renovás -en todo sentido- tu mente, ¿verdad? Ja Ja. En tu situación, la mente funciona en español y después se renueva al inglés o viceversa. Yo también he experimentado eso. No te visito tanto porque tengo 3 blogs. Pero me voy a organizar mejor, así puedo saber cómo andan tus cosas. Que en este año 2012 Dios te revele cosas grandes y ocultas, te de más sabiduría, te guarde y a tu familia también. Él está a tu diestra ¡siempre!!! Un abrazo.
Post a Comment